("You know this." He knows this. After he'd removed himself and thrown himself into the rain to fight any sort of distraction he could find, he'd told himself this. Still, it only takes one moment to bring things down. He has anxieties that have been with him from the moment he manifested. He'd learned to ignore them and find ways to prove them wrong.
If he was strong If he listened If he did what he was told If he even did the dirty work If he did everything no one else wanted to do If he was useful If he tried to be good
Then he would be valued. Wanted.
And the rain had washed it away. His own hopes turned against him. He slides one, two, three steps back and he relearns his place again. )
Doesn't matter. (He takes a breath, a long, tired sigh, and reaches to take a piece of candy. Unwrapping it and popping it into his mouth. He isn't really hungry but if he does something, he can fill some of his hollowness. ) 'S all in the past now.
(Things that can't be taken back. Things that have to be lived with. )
no subject
If he was strong
If he listened
If he did what he was told
If he even did the dirty work
If he did everything no one else wanted to do
If he was useful
If he tried to be good
Then he would be valued. Wanted.
And the rain had washed it away. His own hopes turned against him. He slides one, two, three steps back and he relearns his place again. )
Doesn't matter. (He takes a breath, a long, tired sigh, and reaches to take a piece of candy. Unwrapping it and popping it into his mouth. He isn't really hungry but if he does something, he can fill some of his hollowness. ) 'S all in the past now.
(Things that can't be taken back. Things that have to be lived with. )
Just gotta deal with it.